Do you set boundaries during the holidays? by Katherine Campbell

You can regulate your emotions during this season by establishing boundaries to ease your distress during the holidays. Did you know that boundaries come in many different forms? Boundaries can be divided into several types:

1.       Physical boundaries define how your body interacts with others and how your personal space is maintained.

2.       Intellectual boundaries refer to your thoughts and ideas and how they are discussed respectfully by others.

3.       Moral boundaries protect your values and beliefs from people who cross them or disagree with your decisions.

4.       Emotional boundaries are the way your thoughts and feelings are influenced positively or negatively by another.

5.       Financial or material boundaries determine how other people can affect your stability with regards to your money.

6.       Sexual boundaries are guidelines that define what is and is not acceptable for you in any sexual situations.

7.       Time boundaries explain how you manage your time by setting aside adequate time for each activity.

It is vital to take some time to assess your boundaries and create a plan for interacting with others who may not honor them. By reflecting on your relationships and boundary needs, you can create a plan to reduce stress and set realistic expectations. When developing boundary strategy remember:

·       Be clear and assertive when communicating your boundaries with others. You can do this in person, through a letter or email, a phone call, or even a text message.

·       Learn to say no to requests that do not align with your values or needs.

·       Be respectful by treating others with kindness and respect even if you have different opinions.

·       Set realistic expectations for yourself and others.

·       Prioritize yourself by putting your needs first and valuing your time.

·       Be consistent with the boundaries you have set. Inconsistency can lead to confusion for both you and others. 

·       Identify and avoid triggers that may cause emotional distress related to when a boundary is not honored or crossed.

·       Create a budget and share it with a trusted partner or friend who can help you stay accountable to your financial goals.

·       Plan out your next steps for when a boundary is disrespected or crossed; these may be discontinuing your time and energy with an individual, no longer communicating with an individual, physically stepping away from an individual, leaving or asking an individual to leave an event or your property.

At Maryville Counseling, we help clients explore, identify, and establish their own boundaries. We support your growth in understanding your needs and how to prioritize your health and wellbeing over the influences or opinions of others. Please reach out to us at 865-809-0274 or  www.maryville-counseling.com