Do you know your boundary health type?

Personal boundaries are the guidelines we create for ourselves in our different relationships. They help us define what feels right for us. Boundaries typically have a status of being healthy, rigid, or porous. Healthy boundaries are about creating a positive space for your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Rigid boundaries can feel too strict and lack the flexibility we often need. On the other hand, porous boundaries allow for a gentle flow and connection with others, making it easier to navigate our relationships.

When people have healthy boundaries, they can say "no" when needed but feel at ease getting close and building intimate connections with others. When someone maintains a little distance from others—emotionally, physically, or in other ways—we can say they have rigid boundaries. On the other hand, if people often find themselves deeply involved with others, they might have what we call porous boundaries. It's all about knowing yourself and feeling safe in your interactions!

Common traits of rigid boundaries:

·        Prefers to maintain some personal space in relationships 

·        Often appreciates self-reliance and may hesitate to seek help 

·        Tends to have a small circle of close friends 

·        Values privacy and cautious about sharing personal details 

·        Can come across as reserved, even with romantic partners 

·        Likes to keep a bit of distance in social interactions 

Common traits of porous boundaries:

·       Tending to share personal details a bit too freely 

·       Struggling to decline requests from friends and family 

·       Get deeply involved in the lives of others 

·       Relying a lot on what others think 

·       Sometimes tolerating unkind treatment 

·       Worrying about being left out if not competing with others 

Common traits of healthy boundaries:

·       Values their own opinions and stands by them

·       Stays true to their beliefs without bending for others

·       Shares personal stories in a balanced way—just enough without going overboard

·       Understands their wants and needs and expresses them clearly

·       Respectfully accepts when others say no

Many of us have a unique mix of boundaries depending on who we interact with. For instance, you might have healthy boundaries at work while being more flexible in romantic relationships and then have a combination of different styles with your family. It’s all perfectly normal because every relationship is different and has various needs!

Boundaries depend on where you are and the kind of relationship you have with someone. For example, what feels fine to share with friends during a casual hangout might not be the best choice when chatting with your boss at work.

Cultures and communities have varying ideas about boundaries, which can be challenging, but by simply inquiring about a person’s culture, you can be mindful and able to respect their differences.  In some places, it’s seen as a bit out of line to show emotions in public, while in others, people are encouraged to share their feelings openly outside their homes. It’s fascinating how these cultural differences shape our relationships!

At Maryville Counseling, we help clients explore, identify, and establish their own boundaries. We support your growth in understanding your needs and how to prioritize your health and well-being over the influences or opinions of others. Please reach out to us at 865-809-0274 or  www.maryville-counseling.com